Mom, Not Porn This Time.

Bernardo Bertolucci’s “The Dreamers”

I was one of the insatiables. The ones you’d always find sitting closest to the screen. Why do we sit so close? Maybe it was because we wanted to receive the images first. When they were still new, still fresh. Before they cleared the hurdles of the rows behind us. Before they’d been relayed back from row to row, spectator to spectator; until worn out, secondhand, the size of a postage stamp, it returned to the projectionist’s cabin. Maybe, too, the screen was really a screen. It screened us… from the world.

Wong Kar Wai’s “In the Mood For Love”

He remembers those vanished years. As though looking throusth a dusty window pane, the past is something he could see, but not touch. And everything he sees is blurred and indistinct.

Gregg Araki’s “Mysterious Skin”

And as we sat there listening to the carolers, I wanted to tell Brian it was over now and everything would be okay. But that was a lie, plus, I couldn’t speak anyway. I wish there was some way for us to go back and undo the past. But there wasn’t. There was nothing we could do. So I just stayed silent and trying to telepathically communicate how sorry I was about what had happened. And I thought of all the grief and sadness and fucked up suffering in the world, and it made me want to escape. I wished with all my heart that we could just leave this world behind. Rise like two angels in the night and magically… disappear.

The Unbearable Brightness of My Being

Myke, like most of us are, hates it when things become mainstream. Because he is selfish and because he himself is secretly mainstream and likes that space only for himself. Myke has too many nicknames given by special people but grew up being called Mikko at home which makes him sound like an overgrown special child. If you call him Mikko after this, he will kill you with his bare hands. Scrape your eyeballs out of their sockets. Tear your tongue. Rip your every tendon. Pull your armpits’ hair. Again, with his bare hands. To save your self, he prefers to be called Myke instead. An attempt to go against the most common spelling of a very common name. Partly because the name Michael is mainstream and Myke used to be an unusual spelling. Used to be.